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My Idealized Image – a satire

If anyone out there struggles, or has ever struggled, with being enough in their ordinariness, you might relate to this little essay I wrote. Put simply, it’s about the kind of woman I thought that I should be – and one day – would be. After reading the first paragraph, you will likely become tired, then stressed, and hopefully by the end, amused by the insanity of it all. This simple exercise of articulating what my counselor calls an “idealized image” has helped me see how my lifetime of striving after an unattainable me, has kept me from living today and enjoying the imperfect, ordinary, hopelessly flawed, but adored, cherished, and completely lovable, me that God created to love and enjoy. If you can relate to what I’ve written, I invite you to write your own essay. Your true (flawed, ordinary, imperfect, but lovable) self will thank you!

Cheers to being ordinary,


Each day I awaken before dawn to enjoy an hour of quiet Bible reading and intercession, the house all to myself at 5am. I make a real food breakfast feast, and get to work homeschooling. In between subjects, we go on nature walks on our neighborhood trails that back up to our 3.5 acres, picking wild berries and foraging other delectable foods. We picnic on a grassy patch, read a classic piece of literature that builds the vocabulary and brain synapses of my brilliant children who are sure to qualify for any Ivy or mini-Ivy, and possibly even by the age 16. No screen time for us when all we really need is Nature to satiate our curious minds. When we return to our homestead, we tend to our spirited hens and harvest fresh vegetables for that night’s dinner. But don’t forget the field trip! Today should it be the observatory for astronomy, colonial Williamsburg for their history lesson, or maybe just play time at the creek where the kids will entertain themselves for hours in the outdoors, skipping rocks, and asking myriad questions about creatures, cloud formations, and plant life? Bliss! Home for tea time – decompressing and savoring rich discussion alongside the children’s favorite loose tea, a real food version of scones, homemade lemon curd, and an assortment of homemade jams canned by yours truly from our berry bushes last Summer. Just another piece of the perfect childhood I’m busy creating for my children. After tea time, we prepare dinner together, being careful to use each measurement as a sensory opportunity for the youngest and math lesson for the oldest as he calculates fractions. Once dad is finished with work for the day, he joins in the cooking and learning, but also prepares the Bible lesson that he will be leading that night after dinner. All are ready to receive both spiritual and actual food around the table. Washed hands, garden-plucked flowers, and Mozart’s Requiem all set the stage for a feast for soul and body. Each receives joyfully and eagerly – full, overflowing, grateful. We are the perfect family.

Aren’t I lovely? I am a passionate woman who is fiercely devoted to rearing her children with the best of everything – the best music, the best food, the best childhood experience. Did I also mention I blog about my life as a homeschooling, homesteading mom? I have 50,000 followers and am hoping to get a book deal. But did I also mention that I work as a realtor? That’s right, I am one of the leading realtors in the city, actually. I have only been in real estate for three years, but was honored and humbled to be included in the “top 1%” of realtors in my city. Sure, it’s hard for a homeschooling, homesteading mom to do both, but somehow I manage, without even compromising my health or sleep. It seems impossible, but I manage to get at least 8 hours of sleep each night, knowing it is a critical element of whole health- spirit, soul, and body. That, and of course, my daily hour spent walking or investing in my yoga practice. All of these things help keep me fit and lean, but also relaxed and clear-headed – two critical qualities of a homeschooling, homesteading, mom-blogging, taking-the-real-estate-world –by-storm woman.

It goes without saying that as a Christian woman, I care deeply about keeping an orderly home, and am always open to welcoming others in and practicing hospitality. The state of the home is an outward reflection of the inner life, so I aim to keep mine pristine and tidy, and because I enjoy design, also furnished with fine, but livable, fabrics, art, and accouterments. Peace and comfort, with an understated elegance. My husband has nicknamed me “31” for short – his Proverbs 31 woman – it makes me blush, but I know it is true. He is satisfied in every way if you know what I mean, and can’t relate to the other men who complain of their wives being uninterested and closed off to intimacy. A love note on his bed each morning to greet him, surprise afternoon rendezvous, middle of the night adventures, weekends away together, and hot, wholesome meals prepared before he can profess hunger, are a reality – a given, really – as a Christian wife. Anything less would be withholding from my husband and a disappointment to me (and my standard) as “31.” It’s amazing the unity between us – finishing each other’s sentences, having the same dreams each night, and of course hours spent in prayer and intercession on each other’s behalf. You could say that we are what Paul had in mind when he discussed a husband and wife in Ephesians 5. A city on a hill. Some have wondered how I – as a homeschooling, homesteading, mom-blogging, taking-the-real-estate-world–by-storm, pristine housekeeping, daily-exercising, husband-pleasing woman – do it. It really cannot be explained in ordinary terms. You see, I actually am not ordinary. I am among the few super-people that God has created and what I can accomplish on any given day supersedes human capacity. It is wonderful to be truly extraordinary.


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